I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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