Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
