Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need moral support for this bender
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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