Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize