It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
