I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
