I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
