Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize