I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
