i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
