if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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