I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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