This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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