wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
