Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
