So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
