apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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