the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
