you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
