Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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