yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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