I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
