He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
