Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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