just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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