So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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