no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
