I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Less talking, more tequila
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
