Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize
