He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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