Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
