There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
