Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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