me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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