the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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