East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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