Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
where does the pee come out of this thing
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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