I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
