Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Did I show you my penis last night?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
