Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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