I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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