why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
