What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
wow bdsm is so cute
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
