I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
