Pappa wants mamma naked
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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