all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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