he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
