cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
