he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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