I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
