You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
