apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
