Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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