Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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