So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
barbara walters just said penis...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
