i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
