dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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