I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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