Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
