: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
