:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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