if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
